Having a home birth is never something I expected to actually do. I thought about it a few times in a “that would be cool if it wasn’t super dangerous” kind of way.
I’m not really sure how I got that message into my head but I know that I am not the only one. There are many people with misconceptions about home birth and the concept of its safety.
I made a joke to my husband early in my pregnancy about doing a home birth after reading a couple stories. All while thinking it wasn’t something I would actually do.
At one point during my pregnancy I ended up going to the hospital because I wasn’t feeling well. Everything was fine but it really brought to light how much I did not like hospitals and began to feel very anxious about the idea of giving birth in a hospital.
It got us talking about the options, birthplace alternatives, and began to do more research about it. We eventually decided it was what we wanted to do. While this is a very layered decision here are some insights into why I wanted a home birth:
Hospitals make me anxious and I don’t feel confident and in control around doctors
Every time I have been in a hospital I just get anxious about being there. The entire time I feel unsettled and like I need to leave.
So often I feel walked over and I lack the confidence to stand up for myself. It feels like I need to just go along with whatever they lead me through without questioning. I lose my voice as soon as I walk through the door.
Being on their schedules
Hospitals are busy and they don’t care about your timeline. They have processes and policies that are in place and they have to follow those. You have to wait for them to do anything like a test or to be discharged and you get to be uncomfortable while you do all this waiting.
No shortages of uncomfortable situations
A big thing for me was how uncomfortable it would all be. I would be going through one of the biggest, most intense events of my life and I did not feel like sacrificing my comfort in any way shape or form.
Nothing about the beds or chairs sounded comfortable, hospital gowns are not fun to wear, and the idea of having an I.V. just chilling in my arm sounded so annoying.
Horrible lighting, dirty floors, no shortage of strangers, and restrictions on things like sustenance.
I did not have a high risk pregnancy. There was nothing to indicate that I might need an I.V. at the drop of a hat or any sort of intervention.
I simply did not want the hassle of trying to deal with that and alter as much as I could to make it more comfortable. Realistically there wasn’t much that I could have done to achieve that.
Having the freedom to choose who is there and not having to mask
Things have changed since my decision to have a home birth and even more so since having my baby. It wasn’t until later in my pregnancy that hospitals in my area stopped restricting guests that could be with you.
At the time I was making my decision, I could have up to 2 people during my labor and for like an hour following the delivery when they only allowed 1 person. I have a big and involved family and I always pictured having their support during this time like my sisters had during their labor and deliveries.
I hate masks with a passion. Under no circumstance was I okay with having to wear a mask while I am trying to go through the most challenging thing my body will ever go through. I didn’t even want to sit there and try to mess around with it to make sure it was on every time a nurse came in. Especially not during postpartum when I am trying to deal with a new baby.
Temptation for intervention
I was determined to have a natural birth and a common consensus is that during the transition phase of labor the most determined people still falter at least a little and start wanting interventions such as epidurals.
When I entered this phase, my midwife even warned me that it is common to lose faith during this time and start thinking you can’t do it. Truth is though, you absolutely can and she even reassured me of that.
A common question I got was if having a home birth meant I couldn’t do an epidural. That was usually the very first response I got from people. I didn’t want one anyways and being at home meant it would be much more difficult to change my mind.
I definitely could have changed my mind. All I had to do was say the word and we would pack up and head to the hospital. But that would have meant all of the prep would have been for nothing. That would have meant more medical bills. That would have meant ignoring every other reason I had for doing a home birth and refusing an epidural. That would have meant someone else delivering my baby that I had never even talked to.
Being in the comfort of my own home
I love being at home. It is my favorite place to be.
There was something very calming about the idea of never having to leave it for this process. Not having to figure out when to leave the house to go to the hospital. I could just stay put. I was able to be in my own space with my own stuff and everybody came to me. I could get my baby in my arms and go straight to my own bed to begin recovering.
Imagine being able to shower in your own shower and use your own bathroom. To have all of your clothes and comfort items and practical items at your fingerprints not just what you could reasonably pack.
That was my reality and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.